Instant Blessings: Handling the Irks, Jerks, and Quirks With a Smirk
From Chapter 9
Stuff will happen: you already know this. Now take a moment to imagine what your life might be like if you combined a little creativity with your sense of humor so you could stress less and bless more. Here's the question: Will your getting angry, snarky, or short tempered stop the rain, enlighten muddleheaded motorists, make elevators speed to your floor, cause lines to move faster, make your cell work better in a dead zone? Getting all hyper over these things only affects you . It doesn't do squat for inanimate objects or even other people! Bless these moments, don't obsess over them.
Stress is a big bully and it will try to get away with as much as it can. Stress can get all fluffed up and look ten times its size but you don't have to be intimidated by the special effects. You don't have to let it push you around. Like letting the air out of a balloon, you can whip stress down to size Small instead of XXXL. How do you neutralize the bully? Ridicule it. Mock it. Laugh at it and you'll put stress in its rightful place:
"Bless this bleeping bottom feeder for giving me an opportunity to perfect my patience..."
"Bless this nutsy ninnyhammer for giving me the chance to practice my tolerance..."
"Bless this muckered mess for providing me with an opportunity to regain perspective..."
"Bless this shambles of a situation for it allows me to use my sense of humor..."
If You Bless, You'll Decompress
How could anyone possibly utter any of these sentences with a straight face? Just make up the most outrageously smirky statement you can think of when the chips are down. Memorize it, and as the doctor says, take as needed. Release that playful inner imp of yours and have some fun. Enjoy your taste of emotional independence. When you bless your stress creatively, cleverly, and continuously, you whittle down the dimensions of the blathering bully.